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I found money stashed in my late father’s house. One brother owes me money, and the other stole from my mother. What should I do?


Pricey Quentin,

My father handed away not too way back, and he left a small inheritance for me and my three brothers. The proceeds are $2,900, and splitting it 4 methods would imply every of us would get $725. He left it in his room for us, and I occurred to search out it earlier than any of my brothers. Nonetheless, my brothers have a horrible observe document in the case of funds.

My older brother has spent 1000’s of {dollars} from my mother’s checking account on dietary supplements, water filters and his personal pursuits, with out her permission. My youthful brother isn’t like my older brother, however he’s horrible in the case of paying again loans. I lent him $1,800 about two years in the past and he’s solely paid again $800, however largely due to my fixed haggling. He additionally owes my mom about $3,000.


‘My older brother has spent 1000’s of {dollars} from my mother’s checking account on dietary supplements, water filters and his personal pursuits, with out her permission.’

My eldest brother will obtain the $725, no questions on it, as a result of he’s accountable and residing together with his spouse. I do know every considered one of my brothers need to obtain the cash as a result of my father left it for us, however I can not bear to witness them receiving the cash and utterly losing it. My concept was to carry on to it, till I see them being extra accountable with funds, or give it to them throughout the holidays.

My father at all times needed us all to try for greatness and be financially steady, and so I really feel it’s my accountability to assist my brothers by not feeding into their unhealthy habits. I’m not planning on conserving the cash myself, however I additionally really feel responsible for not informing them that I’ve the cash with out their data. What could be one of the best factor to do? Ought to I simply give them the cash, and allow them to do what they’ll with it?

The Accountable Brother

You may e-mail The Moneyist with any monetary and moral questions associated to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and observe Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.

Pricey Brother,

The accountable factor to do is to place apart your issues about your brothers.

In case your mom is alive, give the cash to her. If not, distribute it to your brothers. It’s not your job to supervise their habits and cash administration. They are going to study from their errors — as you’ve realized from attempting to do the fitting factor while you lent cash to a brother who could or could not pay you again.

You’re making a probably perilous play by holding onto the cash till you imagine that your brothers are higher in a position to spend it correctly and/or repay cash they owe different members of the family. An goal bystander would possibly regard your secrecy and plans to distribute the cash at a later date as suspect.

When you discovered a misplaced silver watch in considered one of your brother’s desk drawers and he advised you he was minding it for you, what would you assume? Most likely not charitable ideas. It might solely be $725, but it surely’s close to a month’s rent in additional than a dozen states. The longer you wait to inform your brothers in regards to the cash, the extra precarious your stance turns into.

It’s time to dwell your personal life, and permit your brothers to dwell theirs.

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