Market Trends Upwards Upon Realization Afghanistan Is In The Middle East And We Don’t Give A Fuck

Market Trends Upwards Upon Realization Afghanistan Is In The Middle East And We Don’t Give A Fuck
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NYSE TRADING FLOOR, New York – After a blood-red Monday, the market is seemingly has trended upwards upon the belief that Afghanistan, a nation not too long ago taken over by terror group the Taliban is located within the center east.

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Disclaimer: It is a satirical article.

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Talibans In Afghanistan Do Not Pose A Risk To America

“My boss has been telling us to promote all week, considering these Taliban guys are gonna 9/11 us once more or one thing,” one nameless Goldman Sachs Junior Analyst informed The Stonk Market.

“Considered one of our guys sat down to inform the boss the Taliban are literally in Afghanistan and don’t actually pose a menace to America.” he added.

Upon this realization, his boss stated “Oh so who provides a shit than? Purchase the dip.”

Different massive companies probably caught on as SPY futures turned to inexperienced on Tuesday night. Searching for Alpha analysts have an identical bull thesis citing, “COVID is pretend and the Taliban are homosexual,” one Searching for Alpha person stated with a WallStreetBets child profile image.

This publish first appeared on The Stonk Market

Disclaimer: It is a satirical article.

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