THE MIRROR OF MEDIA

Market Trends Upwards Upon Realization Afghanistan Is In The Middle East And We Don’t Give A Fuck


Market Trends Upwards Upon Realization Afghanistan Is In The Middle East And We Don’t Give A Fuck
ArmyAmber / Pixabay

NYSE TRADING FLOOR, New York – After a blood-red Monday, the market is seemingly has trended upwards upon the belief that Afghanistan, a nation not too long ago taken over by terror group the Taliban is located within the center east.

Get Our Activist Investing Case Examine!

Get the complete 10-part sequence on our in-depth research on activist investing in PDF. Put it aside to your desktop, learn it in your pill, or print it out to learn anyplace! Enroll under!

Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more

Disclaimer: It is a satirical article.

Carlson Continues To Trip The AMD- Xilinx Merger Regardless of Wider Unfold [Exclusive]

AMD

Carlson Capital’s Double Black Diamond Fund was up 0.01% web for July, bringing its year-to-date return to five.34% web. In his August letter to traders, which was reviewed by ValueWalk, Clint Carlson stated he sees a really engaging alternative set for the remainder of the yr. The fund is at its goal leverage of two.5 Read More

Talibans In Afghanistan Do Not Pose A Risk To America

“My boss has been telling us to promote all week, considering these Taliban guys are gonna 9/11 us once more or one thing,” one nameless Goldman Sachs Junior Analyst informed The Stonk Market.

“Considered one of our guys sat down to inform the boss the Taliban are literally in Afghanistan and don’t actually pose a menace to America.” he added.

Upon this realization, his boss stated “Oh so who provides a shit than? Purchase the dip.”

Different massive companies probably caught on as SPY futures turned to inexperienced on Tuesday night. Searching for Alpha analysts have an identical bull thesis citing, “COVID is pretend and the Taliban are homosexual,” one Searching for Alpha person stated with a WallStreetBets child profile image.

This publish first appeared on The Stonk Market


Disclaimer: It is a satirical article.

Up to date on



Source link

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *