A few years ago I became intrigued by the Danish concept of hygge. It’s how the Danes survive the long, dark winters with their sanity in check. While I don’t live in the far north, I do struggle with the short days of winter so anything that can help automatically catches my attention. Webster’s Dictionary defines hygge as, “Invoking or fostering a sense of coziness, contentment, and well-being.” But it’s not just about material items like blankets and slippers. It’s also about fostering a feeling of togetherness and contentment when you’re with family and friends, or being content when you’re alone.
In other words, hygge is more about how you feel than the objects or activities involved. It’s about taking the down time winter gives you and turning it into a time of happiness and togetherness instead of bemoaning the short days and cold weather. It’s about being present in whatever moment you find yourself.
Unfortunately, when this concept hit the mainstream several years ago, it became a “lifestyle trend,” with all the expense and baggage that carries. Instead of being about feelings and quality time with loved ones, hygge became about cultivating the right aesthetic for social media. Certain decor, clothing, and household items became “hygge,” and suddenly everyone was marketing hygge-related “stuff.” Once the advertising execs got ahold of the concept, hygge became expensive. But hygge shouldn’t be expensive. Spending loads of money on an aesthetic is as far from the original concept as you can get. In fact, native Danes don’t even recognize most of the crap marketed as “hygge” as having anything to do with the concept.
Hygge in its purest form is free, or at least super inexpensive. And that’s the point. It isn’t about what you spend, riding an aspirational trend, or achieving a superficial look. Hygge cannot be forced or bought, any more than a feeling like love or gratitude can be. It’s about whether or not you feel comfortable and content, and whether your guests feel that, too. You can’t buy that feeling, no matter how much you spend on hygge merch.
If hygge isn’t about the aesthetic that’s being force-marketed to us, then what are the free/inexpensive ways to enjoy this cultural export?
Here are some ideas:
Enjoy your space
Is your home/apartment decorated in a way that makes you happy? Do you want to spend time there? Are you surrounded by objects you love (or no objects, if minimalism makes you happy)? If so, that’s hygge. So what if it doesn’t look like something out of a magazine? As long as you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters.
Surround yourself with “coziness”
You get to define what qualifies as cozy. If you prefer thick blankets to huge duvets, so be it. Do you hate candles and prefer a favorite lamp, a string of party lights, or even blinding light? Great. You do you. If you feel better in your well-worn slippers instead of fluffy socks, that’s fine, too. Are you happier with an old stuffed animal on the sofa instead of decorative pillows? Cozy for you is probably not what’s featured in the magazines. Choose what makes you feel snuggled in, even if that’s different from what’s touted on Instagram.
Forget the wardrobe
Yes, the Nordics are famous for their knitwear, but you don’t have to emulate that. You don’t need pricey sweaters, socks, and slippers. Your ratty sweatpants are hygge as long as you’re comfortable in them. Same with the holey socks and slippers in the back of the drawer. If they’re your favorites and you love being in them, that’s what matters. And your outfit doesn’t have to match. Plaid pants with striped shirt… Fine. You’re not going out, anyway.
Skip the outings
You don’t need to go anywhere to experience hygge. A trip to the swanky ski lodge or spa isn’t as hygge as a walk in the local woods with a friend. Hygge can be found outdoors, but it isn’t likely to be found in tourist destinations. The crowds and impersonal nature of such places is antithetical to hygge. Stick to local picnics, hikes, or walks. You can get a group and go to a pub or other small gathering spot for drinks or a talk, but you don’t have to.
Give up on “wellness”
Hygge isn’t about the wellness movement. Yes, hygge can lead to better wellness. Being outdoors, being social with friends, and being relaxed are all good for you. However, hygge doesn’t require that you eat certain foods, drink certain coffees/teas, meditate, do yoga, or any other food or fitness trend. Some marketers have tried to tie hygge into other wellness products in order to sell more. Don’t fall for it.
Abandon screens
Screens are not hygge. Scrolling on your phone isn’t hygge, even if you’re cozy while doing it. It’s a distraction and a mental health hazard. Hygge is found offline. Books, board games with friends, pot luck dinners, craft circles, cooking together, building a Lego set… All hygge. A movie on the couch with friends might get a pass, but really there are more hygge things to do with friends than zoning out for a movie. Also, posting your activities on social media while engaging in them is anti-hygge.
Give up on impressing others
Hygge isn’t about impressing others with your aesthetic. It’s about making sure your guests are comfortable and enjoying themselves. Most people won’t even notice your decor or clothes if they’re happy and having a good time. (I mean, as long as your place isn’t a total disaster or health hazard.) Just invite people over for some good food and company and enjoy wherever that takes you.
Basic food is fine
It isn’t necessarily hygge to binge junk food. Neither is hygge about organic superfoods and calorie counts. It’s about comforting food of reasonable quality that you enjoy. bonus points if it’s easily sharable with friends, or if you can involve the group in the cooking or baking process. Soups, stews casseroles, cakes, and the like are fine. You don’t have to pair a main course with specific side dishes. Pot lucks can consist of whatever each person wishes to bring. It’s about taking a break from food trends and giving yourself permission to just enjoy the food and the processes of eating and cooking.
Gather your friends. Or not.
Hygge can be social. It can also happen when you’re alone. You don’t have to force a gathering if you don’t want to. And if you do want to gather some friends, it doesn’t have to be a huge gathering, or some planned thing. Just have people over and relax. Talk. Play a game. Cook something. Be with each other with no agenda. Or be alone with no agenda. That’s hygge.
So you see, hygge shouldn’t cost anything at all. You can’t buy a feeling and that’s all hygge really is. And, contrary to popular belief, hygge isn’t only a winter thing. You can have that hygge feeling all year long, as long as you focus on fostering happiness and being present in your space and with your loved ones.
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