by Hope
The biggest question on my debt update was around the car loan for Gymnast. I am going to give some of that back story and my reasoning. I realize that the BAD community does not agree with my spending on my kids for the most part. And in hindsight, I have definitely prioritized spending on them too much in some areas. But this is where personal finance is just that personal. And as hard as this loan has been on me especially since I lost my dream, great job right around the time of purchase, I still believe it was the right decision for us.
Why Buy Him a Car
Some will remember two years ago when Gymnast totaled his and Princess’ car. I don’t remember if I shared here, but now that he has shared publicly I can as well, it was a suicide attempt. There is alot to that story and I will no go further into it. But I will use this to negate the comment “why buy him a car when he totaled a car.” Totally different time, place and boy. Moving on…
At the time of purchase, he was on the cusp of graduating from high school, a semester early, and staying in this tiny town was NEVER, EVER the plan for him especially of all my kids. So we had a plan that he would graduate, but no graduate, and continue his final semester at as a dual enrolled high school student at the college where Princess attends, 2 hours from here for the final semester of what was his senior year.
Following me so far? We would stack his classes on a couple of days. He would attend in person to get a taste of the bigger city and college, in general, to test it out. But he would need a good, reliable car to make this happen. He would continue to live at home, but spend 3 days a week there with Princess attending school. Then come back here to work, etc.
He would have gotten a full semester of college for just the cost of the extra gas. And he would have gotten to test the waters without any real risk and enjoyed time with his sister.
The car was purchased, the arrangement was made. And I thought we had a plan that would work for him.
What Happened
Those who have followed here for a while must have read between the lines that raising Gymnast and the amazing, talented person he is, about killed me. Getting him out of high school and to 18…well, let’s just say I am super proud. It was not an easy road, ever. Complicated by lots of things that have nothing to do with finance and are personal.
But in that final semester of high school, prior to what would have been his dual enrolled semester, we both knew that knew that more schooling, at least then was not going to work. He was not motivated. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. And in the end, we decided together that we needed a different plan.
It was very grown up. Very much a team discussion and decision to change the plan.
Instead of the above, he would graduate a semester early. And he would work. And when he turned 18, 8 months after graduating high school he would move to Texas. The date was decided last Christmas time. And we stuck to that.
He worked, he saved, he moved. And I told him that I would give him 6 months of “help” after he moved to allow him to get on this feet. We are in month 3 of that help.
What is Next
He knows what is coming. We have discussed all the details of everything. And he knows that he has options should he need to make hard decisions. But in January, he will be empowered to make those decisions and deal with the consequences. Keep the car, sell the car, use the car for work, etc. All on him. I am just giving him a leg up in as much as I can. (And yes, he does know my circumstances.)
Side Note
Without a car, where we live, you can do very little. There is no Uber, public transportation, etc. And the jobs within walking distance pay very little. This was a factor in my thinking as I begin plotting and planning last year.
And I’m sure, my fear of unreliable cars played a large part in the car I chose for both he and Princess. The first car I purchased Princess ended up being a money pit in the end. And I do not have someone to help me determine solid reliable cars.
Is it a lot of money? Yes. Is it worth my peace of mind? Absolutely yes.
Gymnast is thriving. While I was in Texas this past week, we spent a lot of time together. He is healthy, we are healthy. And it is worth every dime I have ever spent to see him growing and becoming who he is meant to be. Healthy and alive!
Gymnast and Hope on a recent visit
Hope is a digital marketing manager and foster/adoptive single mom to five kids. She has run her own consulting company for over 15 years and took a leap of faith returning to the corporate world in 2021 to a job and team she loves! Hope began sharing her journey with the BAD community in the Spring of 2015 and feels like she has finally mastered the balance between family first and wise financial decisions.