“I used to eat raw steak and raw hamburger all the time. It would gross me out now, but I do still love a rare steak.”
—Guy Coffey, president, Frenchies Modern Nail Care
In her monthly “Grab Bag” column, Editor in Chief Laura Michaels asks the tough questions—What superhero power would you most like to have? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?—to show a side of franchising execs you don’t normally see.
Who would play you in the biopic about your life?
He’s not an actor, but I’d say Anthony Kiedis, the leader singer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Just because we look alike. People say I’d look just like him if I had longer, kinda stringy hair. But my son also said Keanu Reeves.
What’s your biggest pet peeve?
I hesitate to share this, but it’s mouth noises. I’m hyper sensitive, I hear everything, so if people are chewing loudly or cracking gum, it drives me crazy. I’ve gotten better about it over the years, but like if people are cracking gum on an airplane, that’s the worst. There’s no escape.
If you could be a member of any TV show family, which would it be?
The Shelby family in ‘Peaky Blinders.’ It would never be boring. It’s also really dark … maybe that says something about me.
What’s something you would seriously stockpile if you found out it wasn’t going to be sold anymore?
This is a shameless plug for a company I love: 1st Phorm’s vanilla ice cream-flavored protein powder. I have like three of those shakes daily. It actually tastes like a vanilla milkshake, and I get my protein.
What’s one trend you wish would disappear?
My son and I differ on this, if it’s a true trend. But I say, people scrolling on their phone and not living in the moment with the people they’re with. My son also just said jorts are coming back for guys—jean shorts. Let’s head that one off before it starts.
Which time period in history would you want to visit?
The early ‘20s, right after World War I think would be really interesting, right before The Great Depression hit. It was the Roaring ‘20s, when people were figuring stuff out—and figuring out ways around things. Plus, the fashion. The ‘20s had that certain fashion and vibe.
What’s your guilty pleasure?
Reading and writing. I can lose time when I’m writing. I say it’s a guilty pleasure because I do it every morning and sometimes totally lose track of time. I journal … I have boxes and boxes of journals going back years.
What superhero power would you most like to have?
If it has to be a superpower that a superhero has, it would be flight. But also, I’d want to have selective mindreading. I don’t want to hear everybody’s thoughts, but just for the people who are interesting to me. It could be really helpful in lots of situations.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
I was going to say sea urchin, like Meg Roberts at Lash Lounge, and I had that same visceral reaction. But I guess this is weird: I used to eat raw steak and raw hamburger all the time. My mom used to roll up raw hamburger in a ball and put salt and pepper on it—I never thought anything of it. I never got sick from it or anything. It would gross me out now, but I do still love a rare steak.