Radar’s 10 Best Quotes From MASH, Ranked

Played by Gary Burghoff, Corporal Walter “Radar” O’Reilly became a staple of the MASH franchise, delivering some of the show’s best lines. MASH ran for 11 seasons, though Radar only appeared on eight before making his exit. While Burghoff was one of several actors to leave MASH, his legacy went beyond just the show. Burghoff appeared as Radar in the film, also titled MASH, which preceded the comedy drama. He was the only actor to play a significant character in both projects. In 1984, a Radar-centric spinoff was pitched and produced, though it was never filmed beyond the pilot.

For the series, Radar was developed into a softer and more sensitive character, with many other characters pointing that out as one of his most admirable traits, especially during a war. Because of his innocence and upbeat demeanor, Radar is considered one of the most likable characters on MASH. He’s also highly quotable, with some great quips that are delivered in an unaware manner, capitalizing on the character’s naivety. Even with this reputation, though, Radar also has many great, heartfelt lines.

10 “The V.I.P. Tent Will Be Ready As Soon As I Move My Animals Out.”

MASH Season 7, Episode 6: “The Billfold Syndrome”

When a medic becomes amnesic without signs of a head injury, the team calls in a specialist and psychiatrist, Major Freedman, to help assess the case. As Hawkeye and Hunnicutt work on their scheme to get Charles to talk after he swears not to speak to anyone at the 4077 anymore, they loop Radar in on their plans. Radar agrees to give Charles a phony telegraph in exchange for an obscene magazine.

When he comes into the tent to deliver the telegraph, he sees Major Freedman and becomes more formal. He tells Freedman that his tent will be ready shortly after he removes his animals. While this is a rather passive remark from Radar, his nonchalant attitude amplifies the humor. Radar doesn’t see the irony that the V.I.P. tent would be a home for animals, showing his innocence. It also exemplifies his caring and empathetic nature, since he refers to the animals as his own, revealing he has been taking care of the creatures.

9 “If You Want A Drink, Sir, — Compliments Henry Blake — Brandy, Scotch, Vodka. And For Your Convenience, All In The Same Bottle.”

MASH Season 2, Episode 13: “Deal Me Out”

As Radar welcomes Major Freedman to the 4077th, he shows off his hospitality. After leading the Major into a tent, he offers him a drink, courtesy of his superior, Blake. Without a hint of irony, he says that the beverage is a brandy, scotch, and vodka mixture.

He claims it’s to make it easier to drink them all at once, which is perhaps what Blake told him when he himself asked what the concoction was. Radar proves his innocence and naivety, offering the liquor as if Freedman were a typical drink. Though Freedman pauses, briefly shocked, he thanks Radar, who still has an earnest smile and enjoys being hospitable.

8 “I Know Where Everything Is.”

MASH Season 5, Episode 16: “38 Across”

Radar rushes into Potter’s office to tell him about Klinger’s latest discharge attempt. This time, the character is going to prove himself to be insane by eating a Jeep, piece by piece. After a quick exchange about what type of Jeep Klinger is eating (“the one with the squeaky seats“), Potter and Radar rush out to stop the soldier.

As Potter gets up, Radar dodges him to get out of his way and allow for maximum efficiency. Potter asks the Corporal how he can see through such dirty glasses. Radar simply says, “I know where everything is,” as he follows Potter outside. This scene and exchange prove the dedication and seriousness with which Radar treats his job. He’s good enough at what he does that he could do it blind, which it appears he might be.

7 “No, Sir. I’m Just Thinking.”

MASH Season 5, Episode 10: “The Korean Surgeon

When Hawkeye and Honeycutt want to turn an injured enemy into a doctor, they approach Radar for advice. They find him alone in the dining hall, picking at his food. In one of Hawkeye’s snarky quotes, he says: “Radar, you look pensive,” to which Radar replies, “I’m just thinking.” The irony is that Radar doesn’t know what pensive means, describing himself as a synonym of the word.

Hawkeye and Honeycutt then attempt to butter Radar up for advice, calling him “naive yet wise, gentle but strong.” He’s suspicious that they want something, which they do. When they ask how to get someone to be a new doctor, Radar is full of administrative advice, showing his knowledge of the job and the army. Though he’s not always the brightest, Radar proves he is a good worker and knows his job well.

6 “Attention! By Command Of The New Commanding Officer, All Officers Report To The Commanding Officer’s Office, Sirs!”

MASH Season 4, Episode 2: “Change of Command”

Being part of the administrative team at the 4077, Radar often makes the announcements over the P.A. system. While there are plenty of examples of comedic MASH’s PA announcements, this one exemplifies Radar’s personality the best. Radar uses the intercom, though he has issues getting the microphone to work, with a bunch of loud feedback over the speakers, which he apologizes for, saying, “Sorry camp.”

He summons all the officers to meet Col. Potter, the new Commanding Officer. Radar delivers this in the form of a tongue twister, partially written and partially due to his flustered state. This is also a great example of the clever and tight writing in MASH.

5 “Well, I Don’t Mind, And I Figured As Long As One Of Us Is Reasonable.”

MASH Season 1, Episode 4: “Chief Surgeon Who?”

This episode is an excellent example of how rowdy and unruly the 4077 can be, even if everyone is usually good at their jobs. General Barker comes to visit and sees the hospital is run without much supervision. As he looks for Colonel Blake, he sees Radar in Blake’s office, smoking a cigar and drinking alcohol while looking through a magazine. When he asks Radar if Blake lets him do this, he replies that Blake is against this behavior but figures that they can agree to disagree.

Radar then follows up the sass by saying that people only sleep at the 4077 when they are working, implying that they don’t care much about their jobs. This is a rare instance of Radar goofing off at work, smoking a cigar and drinking alcohol. Being an early episode in the series, it is clear Radar’s character was still developing, as he would never dare to behave this way in later seasons, especially not after Blake’s death.

4 “I Can’t Answer That, Sir. You’re The One That Signed Them, I Didn’t.”

MASH Season 1, Episode 3: “Requiem for a Lightweight”

Radar enters the office and pours a cup of coffee, which Blake smiles at, thinking it’s a nice gesture for him. Instead, Radar drinks the coffee himself and hands Blake a stack of papers to sign. It’s revealed the papers are blank and that Radar is requesting they be signed now so that they can be used for future situations and don’t have to be signed later. He considers it an innovative way for Blake and himself to cut down on their workload and get ahead.

When Blake questions if it was wise to be giving his signature out without context, Radar responds in earnest that he doesn’t know what the context would be either, but it was Blake’s choice to sign them, acting as though it wasn’t his idea. Blake protests and rips the paper, ranting while Radar picks up the phone and talks to General Barker. While Blake is on the phone with the General, Radar hands him another stack of blank papers, and Blake signs them without thinking. This move proves that Radar might not be as clueless as he seems.

3 “Good Night, Supermen.”

MASH Season 3, Episode 2: “Rainbow Bridge”

After an exciting day of surgery and a P.O.W. exchange, Radar raves about Hawkeye and Trapper’s work. He talks a little about himself, suggesting he might want to be a doctor when the war is over. His admiration for the two jokesters is evident as he applauds their ability to stay calm and relaxed in the face of danger. It’s quite a touching monologue, casually delivered as Radar helps pack their bags for an upcoming trip to Tokyo.

When Radar turns to see what the men are doing, they’re both revealed to be asleep after a long day’s work. Instead of waking them or being upset that they weren’t listening, Radar tucks the men in and even takes a martini glass out of Hawkeye’s hand. He then wishes the men goodnight, calling them “supermen.”

2 “Get Away From Me Before I Get Physically Emotional!”

MASH Season 8, Episode 4: “Goodbye Radar Part I”

This two-part episode marked the character’s last appearance on the show, as Radar left during MASH‘s 8th season. In the two-part episode, Radar trains Klinger to take over his role, having been told there was a family emergency and that he should return home as soon as possible. Radar goes back and forth throughout the episodes, debating if he should go home or not, and dealing with the guilt he feels about leaving his friends behind.

Radar gets more and more frustrated with Klinger, who he believes will not take the job seriously. After Radar enters his office to see papers strewn everywhere, he yells at Klinger, who doesn’t have a good defense. He tells Klinger to leave, threatening him by saying he might get “physically emotional.” Though Radar doesn’t typically get violent, this shows how seriously he takes his role and adds to the drama of the episode as he becomes less certain the 4077 will be able to function without him.

1 “Ahh, Bach”

MASH Season 1 Episode 14: “Love Story”

In this early episode, Radar tries to seduce one of the nurses at the camp after receiving a Dear John letter from his fiancé back home. Radar decides to get some advice from Alan Alda’s Hawkeye — the 4077’s resident womanizer, alongside Trapper. Though Radar is unable to bring the same casualness to his words as Hawkeye does, he still takes meticulous notes. Hawkeye tells him to act educated, giving him lots of studying material and pointers. He specifically says that if she brings up music to say “Ahh, Bach,” showing familiarity with the composer.

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As in any great comedy, Radar’s interaction with the nurse does not go exactly as planned, with him misusing all the canned phrases he learned. The nurse is confused by Radar’s delivery, and even Hawkeye tells him to reel it back. However, the nurse continues the conversation, teaching Radar more about Bach and proving Hawkeye right. Though it doesn’t last with Radar and the nurse, the line remains one of Radar’s most memorable quotes from MASH.