Did you know there is one word that holds back most high performers? And that same word is one word that could be holding you back? If we have piqued your interest in knowing what that one word is then you will need to check out this week’s episode!
Our guest today is Stacy Bahrenfuss, who is known as The Truth Teacher, and a visionary intuitive. She is the founder of The Truth Teachers, where she and her team of Truth Teachers are on a mission to revolutionize the entire self-help industry by empowering people with the tools and frameworks required to transform their own lives. The Truth Teachers is a consulting firm working with elite leaders, executives, and teams.
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ABOUT OUR GUEST:
Stacy and her team of Truth Teachers are on a mission to revolutionize the entire self-help industry by empowering people with the tools and frameworks required to transform their own lives. By using our proprietary framework, we help our clients recognize the emotions and issues holding them back, see the causes at the root and eliminate them forever. It’s time to illuminate the truth and eliminate the subconscious stories that keep you from fully living in your purpose and getting exponential results.
ABOUT BIG SKY FRANCHISE TEAM:
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TRANSCRIPTION:
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (00:00):
Welcome to the Multiply Your Success podcast, where each week we help growth minded entrepreneurs and franchise leaders take the next step in their expansion journey. I’m your host, Tom DuFore, CEO of Big Sky Franchise Team. And as we open today, did you know that there is one word that holds back most high performers? And that same one word very well could be holding you back. Chances are you’re a high performer that’s tuning into this. And if I’ve piqued your interest in knowing what that one word might be, you’re going to need to hang on all the way until sometime about three quarters of the way through the episode here to get what that one word is.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (00:42):
And our guest today, Stacy Bahrenfuss. She shares with us what that one word is. Stacy is known as The Truth Teacher and a visionary intuitive. And she’s the founder of her company, which is called The Truth Teachers, where she and her team are on a mission to revolutionize the entire self-help industry by empowering people with the tools and frameworks required to transform their own lives. Before we jump into the interview, I just wanted to let you know that we were having some slight technical difficulties with my microphone when we recorded this episode. And so the internal computer microphone ended up getting used instead of the studio mic. So just wanted let you know as you’re listening in. So let’s go ahead and jump right into it.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (01:28):
Yeah, so my name is Stacy Bahrenfuss, and I’m the founder of The Truth Teachers. And we primarily work with women leaders to help them really activate their power and step into the highest level of leadership. But are rolling out more products to serve men, corporate and other groups and categories.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (01:50):
Great. Great. Well, one of the things I actually wanted to ask, the first question I had on my sheet, which was about your company name, The Truth Teachers, and why The Truth Teachers? It’s an interesting name. I like it. I see you have a trademark on it. So I’d love for you to share why.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (02:07):
Yeah, so when I was creating this company, I really asked for guidance of what should I call this company? And it was very quick that this name came to me. And the thought behind it is when we speak truth or when we work with truth, there’s really nothing else to work with. And so in the work that we do with the women leaders, this is all about bringing awareness to the truth. And we all know that the truth sets us free, right? And so being able to be free to create the purpose that we are here to create, the impact we are meant to create, that’s the idea really behind The Truth Teachers. So we’re here to teach truth.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (02:53):
I love it. That sounds great. So one of the things that stood out, or question that I wanted to get your opinion on was this idea of the revenue you lose due to your resistance. And you’ve talked about that in some of the material you shared. And so I’d like for you to talk through that. I think anytime you hear lost revenue, any business leader or entrepreneur it usually catches their ears right away. So for those of you that will listen in, lost revenue and Stacy’s going to talk about that. So what does that mean?
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (03:30):
Yeah, so it’s so interesting because as entrepreneurs, as business owners, if we look at the times where we get caught up, most often we can link it back to being in resistance in some way. Resistance to launching a new offer, resistance to what the market might think of our product or service. Resistance to that next level that we know we need to step into. And so when I talk about the revenue lost in your resistance, it’s really to inspire you to take a look at where do you find yourself in resistance? And resistance, the way I speak about it, is any time throughout the day where you might feel any sort of contraction, whether you’re working with team or clients, any areas where you might feel you’re compromising or tolerating something, whether it’s tolerating the way you’ve served your clients is not the way that lights you up anymore, or tolerating some performance piece with team. It’s really to connect to, “Where am I in resistance?” And know that you are definitely losing revenue because that resistance is at the core of how you’re showing up in the world.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (04:47):
And so either your clients are feeling it or your team is feeling it. And so I like to take inventory and tell my clients to take inventory on it often because it’s really an unending, never ending really path of evaluating, “Am I in resistance or not?” And that energy that’s freed up by essentially seeing where you’re in resistance helps you divert that energy from being in resistance to creation and focusing more on revenue based activities.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (05:20):
Okay, great. When you just said that it made me think of a couple things. One is I hear that and it makes me wonder, “Okay, well, some of the things that I might have some resistance to in day to day stuff, some of it isn’t it part of just I can’t get my way all the time, right? I can’t if I’m upset throw a tantrum or whatever, like my kids might. There’s a certain level of manners or politeness, certain things that just come along with interacting with other people.” So I’m just curious if you could give maybe a for instance, or an example or two of what that might look like to better give some context and help understand that.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (06:08):
Yeah. And it’s such a great point because there is much messaging that I too don’t agree with that’s out there. Which is if you’re not in your joy and in your desire all the time, then you’re on the right path. That’s not necessarily what this means. And so an example of being in resistance could simply mean, let’s say that you have a product or service that you launched a year ago, and when you launched it was new, it was invigorating, you were excited to bring to the market and you completely believed in it. You’re 12 months later and maybe there are aspects of it that you’re starting to feel in resistance to because there’s other products that you’ve been called or inspired to launch into the marketplace. That resistance is present. And the idea with this is not to necessarily change anything once you see the resistance, but to simply bring awareness to the resistance, because that is limiting you in the way you’re showing up with those clients and launching the new products that you’re excited about.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (07:13):
And so what it is is more of an internal conversation when I say, “Look at that resistance.” It’s not necessarily, “Stop what you’re doing. Completely change the course.” Or that you don’t have to do hard things. That’s a part of being an entrepreneur and business owner. It’s more about being aware and understanding that you have a choice to be in resistance or not. You can choose to see that resistance and free that space inside to then divert that energy towards showing up powerfully in the deliveries that you’re still responsible for and creating the next thing.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (07:53):
Yeah. Okay. That helps better, gives a lot more understanding and context to that. Because certainly there are things maybe a coworker or client maybe happens to do that creates some resistance where maybe you don’t like it, but those are just the regular dealings of doing business with people. But what you’re saying is that maybe it’s a lack of interest, maybe it’s whatever’s going on that maybe it could lead to better delegation if you’re finding yourself at a certain stage, like you described with that new product launch, maybe you need to assign that to a new leader or a new person to take ownership of that internally at your company.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (08:37):
Right. And really what this is more about is having this childlike approach to our businesses and looking at opportunities when we feel triggered or in resistance instead to blame it on this employee that’s not performing or this program that doesn’t light me up anymore. Instead of doing that, actually look within and use it as your greatest personal development journey, which is, “How can I expand? How can I grow? Seeing that this trigger resistance is happening first within me.” We’re just taught that we go external, that it’s this thing that’s causing me to feel this way, or it’s this thing that’s causing something. It’s more seeing that that internal state is your choice at the end of the day.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (09:27):
I see. Okay. That’s really, really helpful. Well, let’s talk about one concept you brought up was this idea of emotional distortion. And it sounds like it flows in with the conversation here. And so I’d like for you to just describe what is it and how do we recognize it, or what are these tricks that it can play?
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (09:52):
Yes. Yeah. And it goes hand in hand with this conversation. So I love that you’re going there next. So with emotions, we are taught as we were raised, our conditioning that they, a lot of times, are our north star. And so we operate a lot in our lives from that place of, “If I’m feeling a certain way, it means something.” And so that is a huge distortion and can get us in a lot of trouble, especially being emotional beings like we are. And so if we can start to recognize the emotions that are coming up, simply as information that can be chosen or dismissed, that allows us to have the freedom to not get into knee-jerk reactions, not make decisions from a heightened state that could have chaotic consequences down the road. It’s more really encouraging this conversation of ultimate empowerment. And so the emotions can get in our way because in someway or another they’re different for each of us. The way you react to something is completely different than the way I react. And that right there shows us that there is a level of distortion to it. And so instead of allowing these things to run our lives, it’s all about seeing it for what it is, which is a description about the way we’re feeling and leave it at that, versus allowing it to run us. It’s more about running it.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (11:30):
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, it reminded me of a recent conversation I was having with someone, just talking about the concept of… It reminded me of this concept of temperance or moderation, to a certain extent. If you feel like a compelled emotion, you might want to not act on that, and help that process and maybe understand it before you act on that emotion that’s coming through. Just as I’m listening to you describe it, I remember that I was having a conversation with someone very recently about that. You have a discussion point here about mommy issues in business and how they hold you back. And so what are these mommy issues that we all have here?
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (12:18):
Yes. Yeah. It’s so interesting if we start to look at how we’re showing up in our business and limitations as tying that back to what happened when we were in our childhood, what happened in our homes that could have affected us and really set us up for this conditioning or programming that we use in our businesses in our day-to-day lives. And so the concept of looking at your mommy issues in the way of what’s limiting you in your business is taking a look at what are those limitations as you see them. And I love making lists. I encourage it all the time. Do a brain dump on this. What are those limitations? And then go ahead and take a look at how that relates to your mom, even how it relates to your dad. And I’ll give you an example.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (13:09):
So if I’m in a role where with my clients I tend to want to please them, but I say, “I want to go above and beyond for my clients.” That is one thing. Okay. But if I am going above and beyond and compromising myself in the process, that’s actually people pleasing. So there’s a distinction there. I could look at that example and say, “Oh, as a child, I wanted to please my mother to get love or belonging. Basic human needs.” And so it’s a great exercise while it seems deep and extensive, you can actually do it pretty quickly. And it can reveal to you a lot of great tools and a lot of gold, actually, that may be in your business that you can, again, free up that energy to take on more clients because you’re not so focused on people pleasing, as the example I just referenced.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (14:03):
I see. I see. Yeah, that’s a great little exercise to try. And I hope that I’m thinking about running through, it’s like, “Oh boy, do I really want to know?” But it’s probably best to know what those things might be and start working on it and thinking about it. Well, what are some toxic traits that hold people back? What do some of those things look like?
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (14:31):
Yeah, so some toxic traits that can show up in the business is… And frankly, the more that you can take these things I’m saying today and look at your personal life and look at your business, the more free you’re going to become. Because if it’s showing up in your business, it’s very much in your personal life. We are not one dimensional beings here, we obviously have these different facets to us. So looking at your traits, some toxic traits, I mentioned people pleasing, things that drive a lot of high paced, driven entrepreneurs is, “Not enough.” “I’ll be enough when…” Or, “I’ll be happy when I make that next million. I’ll be happy when I hit that next revenue level.”
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (15:18):
That is, and can turn into, toxic traits because where you’re coming from internally is not a neutral state. You’re coming from a place as if you have a void inside. And if that makes sense, that is a way that can really damage things long term from a sustainability standpoint. Because if you’re constantly coming from, “Not enough.” Or, “If I just get this person’s approval then I’ll be…” That can limit you in a lot of ways because you’re coming from that inner state that’s compromised versus being whole and complete and operating from that really state of confidence and knowing your true value. Coming from that state, instead of those toxic ways, it completely impacts the people, clients, and team that you’re working with at a whole new level.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (16:17):
That’s really, really interesting. And thinking back, as you’re talking through this, I can see it in myself and others, as I think about former colleagues and folks that I’ve worked with, I definitely know exactly what you’re talking about there. Well, one thing that really stood out to me is this one word that high performers use that holds them back the most. So I’m just curious, what’s the one word?
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (16:48):
Yes. I know. And it’s… Connection. Connection with ourselves. Connection with our creation. Connection with our clients. Most of us, society at large, we are very disconnected. We’re more interested in what’s happening in that person on social media’s life than really what’s happening in our lives. Really being connected to that. And so living in that disconnected state holds us back on so many levels. And so understanding that if you can connect to yourself, if you can place connection at the forefront as a priority with how you operate with your team and place connection as a priority in how you relate to your clients, it’s a complete game changer. They will feel it. They will take that and actually be more intentional in how they’re connecting with everyone in their lives. That is how we can truly make a ripple effect in the businesses that we’re creating and operating.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (17:52):
Yeah. Well, I’ve heard a lot about… Been reading, I should say. And just this idea of connection where while we are more connected than ever, connected to devices, connected to social medias, connected to friends on social platforms, and yet lacking those deep connections, which I think is what you’re talking about here. It’s more these enriching, these really truly rich and enriching connections with your family, close friends, people that you’re spending time with. Is that what you’re referring to there?
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (18:32):
Exactly what I’m talking about, yes. Yeah. We’re more connected, like you said, but more disconnected. And again, it all starts with ourselves. So if we can first start with seeing that we’re disconnected from ourselves, that’s when true connection and our understanding of what connection means can start to really cultivate and then that can go outward from there.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (18:56):
Great, great. Well, Stacy, this is a great time for us to make the transition in the show where we ask every guest before they go the same four questions. And so you’re on the hot seat. And so the first question is we’d like for you to talk about a miss or two you’ve had in your career and your journey of life and something you learned from it.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (19:15):
Yes, I would say that the biggest miss, and this is more generally speaking, is my need to control. And again, while it showed up that I was always on top of everything, it limited me in a lot of ways because I didn’t realize it, but I was controlling to try to avoid something from happening negatively, whether it be for the company or the clients. But I was also limiting our ability to grow in a lot of ways. And so I would say that in my previous career in real estate and residential development, it was very prevalent there. And so when I was preparing for the show today, I was thinking about, “Were there multiple misses?” And of course, so many mistakes, so many learnings. But I feel like this is like the governing or the mothership of all misses is that need to control and how that’s held me back.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (20:16):
Yeah. Oh yeah, I relate personally well to that one. Especially when you care about something, a certain maybe quality, or delivering for clients or your customers or whatever you might be producing, I totally relate there. For sure. Well, the second question is the flip side of that, and let’s talk about a make or two that you’ve had that you’d like to highlight.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (20:46):
Yeah. You know, I think that looking back on the last 16 years of the entrepreneurial interests and different initiatives that I’ve done, the ability to be resourceful and my attitude of, “No matter what, I know I can make it happen.” has made a lot of things happen and has made a lot of things that are one on one hand was like, “How are we going to do this? How are we going to complete this project?” With that attitude, called in those resources and just have that attitude of, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way. We’re going to see this through.” I would say resourcefulness, and then just being bold and being willing to take action. Not knowing how it’s going to turn out, not knowing if it’s going to be successful, but just knowing that I’m going to learn, I’m going to impact and I’m going to lift people up along the way. And so I would say that those are the highlights that have been the most exciting over the years.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (21:50):
Yeah, and thinking back to when you were talking about the idea of the lost revenue, or maybe lost opportunity from resistance, being bold, taking the action or the step to maybe move past that resistance or do something that you were maybe unsure of.
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (22:09):
Exactly. Yes. It’s totally connected.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (22:12):
Great. Well, the next question is about a multiplier. And I always love this question because we get such a broad range of answers here. But what kind of a multiplier have you used in growing your business, yourself, your professional career along the way here?
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (22:31):
Yeah, so a couple of different perspectives as I was thinking about this question. So the first one is always being willing to invest in my personal growth and being conscious of the rooms that I’m in and who I’m surrounding myself with and being diligent in that. There’s been times throughout the years where I’ve taken a short break in some way or I didn’t attend as many functions, and I see such a difference in my thinking, which really is the multiplier of all multipliers. It’s how how much more elevated can we think about this topic? So I would say that’s a big one. And then the other piece is going into the market, being willing to basically charge what I believe is appropriate for the value and what we’re delivering. And I know that seems basic at first glance. But really being aware of what I’m delivering, the price that goes along with that is so important just because that’s the value or the result ultimately that I can bring to the client or the person that I’m serving. And so I would say that those are the top two multipliers.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (23:45):
Yeah. Thank you. And the final question we ask is what does success mean to you?
Stacy Bahrenfuss, The Truth Teachers (23:53):
Yeah, so success means to me a level of what’s my level of fulfillment? For a long time before it was more about those accolades, those achievements. And it’s really about that level of fulfillment and joy that I experience in what I’m doing. And of course the accolades are still there, but being really mindful of fulfillment is what success means to me.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (24:18):
Stacy, thank you so much for a fantastic interview. And let’s go ahead and jump into today’s three key takeaways. So the first one is that resistance is costing you money. And I thought that was fantastic when Stacy said that. So she talked about making sure that you are feeling the contraction that something’s going on, that you’re feeling that resistance, or maybe it’s coming when you’re tolerating something or tolerating someone. Understand, take inventory of that, think about it and seek to address it. Takeaway number two was when Stacy talked about emotional distortion. I thought that was a great discussion point. And she said that oftentimes we’re taught that our emotions are our north star. And so recognize that our emotions are just that, emotions and we can choose to take those emotions or dismiss those emotions. So you get to be in charge of it. You manage your emotions, don’t let your emotions manage you.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (25:21):
And take away number three is when she talked about the toxic trait that holds people back is this concept of not enough. “I’ll be happy when…” Fill in the blank. “I’ll be happy if…” Fill in the blank. Or, “I need more because…” Fill in the blank. And so if you’re finding yourself falling into that, she said be careful. It is very easy for that to become toxic. And now it’s time for today’s win-win. So today’s win-win ties directly back to our show title about the one word that hold high performers back. And it’s that word connection. And she talked about connecting and being intentional about connecting with ourselves, with our clients, with our team, with our creation. As she said, most of us in society at large are disconnected. We’re not having those rich, deep connections. So make sure that you are intentional about your connections.
Tom DuFore, Big Sky Franchise Team (26:27):
That’s the episode today, folks. Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast and give us a review. And remember if you or anyone might be ready to franchise your business or take their franchise company to the next level, please connect with us at bigskyfranchiseteam.com. Thanks for tuning in. And we look forward to having you back next week.