Recently I had a conversation with a friend about eating out. She wanted to know how often my spouse and I dine out or grab takeout. She was shocked to hear that we only eat restaurant food about 2 or 3 times a month. We mostly frequent fast casual spots like Qdoba instead of sit-down restaurants because they’re cheap and quick, which she was also surprised by.
My friend eats out much more frequently than I do, and she isn’t alone. Eating out has somehow become the norm instead of a special treat. A recent survey found that 56% of respondents eat out or order takeout 2 to 3 times per week, which adds up to be pretty expensive. On average, American households spend $3,000 per year on restaurant meals.
Even though the cost of groceries has risen due to inflation, making food at home is still far cheaper than dining out. Restaurants mark up their meals by an average of 300% in order to turn a profit, which means you can save a bundle by cooking your own food. Plus, home-cooked meals are usually healthier and lower in calories than restaurant fare. So why do we have such a strong culture of eating out in this country?
Why Has Eating Out Become the Norm?
When doing research for this article, I asked my Boomer parents if they ate out a lot as kids. My dad grew up working class with a single mother, and she only took them out to eat a few times a year for birthday celebrations. My mom’s family was better off and qualified as middle class, but still didn’t go out to eat much. Now they eat out once a week like many other Americans.
Although their experiences are anecdotal, I read many comments from older folks online that echoed the same sentiment—eating out is much more common today than it used to be just a few decades ago. Dining out used to be a special occasion, but now it’s a regular occurrence. So what changed, and why has eating out become so common?
Households Have More Disposable Income
One possible reason is that American households have more disposable income now than they used to. Studies have shown that middle class Americans have slightly higher real incomes today than in the 1980s, even after adjusting for inflation. People are also having fewer children, which may give them the financial flexibility to splurge on takeout.
Americans Have Fewer Social Outlets
Eating out has also become a way to socialize with friends. Americans used to go to church and join clubs to meet new people, but participation in both of these activities is reportedly on the decline. Perhaps restaurants and bars have become the new “third place” between work and home where people meet up at the end of a long day.
Regardless of the reason why restaurants are so popular, it’s important to change your mindset around eating out if you want to save money. Here are some suggestions to help you break the habit of constantly eating out.
How to Break the Habit of Eating Out
Although my partner and I don’t eat out very often these days, we used to indulge more frequently when we lived in Boston. Here in our rural area, we have to drive 20 or 30 minutes to get decent takeout that we enjoy. But in the Boston suburbs, all kinds of delicious restaurants were just a short walk or drive away, so we had a harder time resisting the temptation.
Loosen the Belt a Bit at the Grocery Store
When we lived in Boston, one of the strategies I implemented to help us cut back on eating out was splurging at the grocery store. The reality is that cooking at home will almost always be cheaper than going out, even if you buy slightly fancier cheeses or nicer cuts of meat.
When I tried to over-frugalize my groceries by only shopping the sales and clearance racks, I found myself reaching for my GrubHub app much more frequently. I wasn’t enjoying my home-cooked meals very much because the ingredients were low-quality, which made me want to order tasty restaurant food.
Allowing yourself to buy a few treats at the grocery store such as truffle frozen pizza or a pint of your favorite gelato can help prevent you from getting frugal food fatigue. If you mix up your groceries a bit and buy some of the things you’re craving (even if they aren’t particularly affordable or healthy), it may help you resist the urge to eat out.
Make Eating Out Special Again
For many Americans, eating out is a habit, not a rare occasion. But by shifting your mindset and setting some rules around eating out, you can make it feel special again. Instead of spending your whole restaurant budget on takeout scarfed down in the car, reserve your funds for meaningful restaurant experiences.
Rather than eating out at average restaurants that leave you feeling unsatisfied, consider visiting a fancier establishment you really love every other month. Dining out with friends and loved ones can also make your restaurant outings significantly more enjoyable and memorable, so try not to eat out alone.
You can also try to go cold turkey on restaurants and reframe eating out as something you only do when there’s an important milestone to celebrate. Previous generations didn’t view dining out as a necessity like we do. They only ate at restaurants on special occasions like anniversaries and birthdays and didn’t seem any less happy because of it.
Try New Recipes and Hobbies
Trying new restaurants has become a form of entertainment that fulfills our need for new experiences and food variety. However, there are cheaper ways to add novelty to your weekly routine.
Trying out new cooking techniques and different cuisines can help prevent meal burnout from eating the same things over and over. Eating in different places in your home (such as on the deck or on a picnic blanket on the floor) can help make dinnertime more fun. So can taking out the fancy dinnerware and deciding to use it on a regular old Tuesday!
If you don’t enjoy cooking and are used to eating out as a hobby, maybe it’s time to pick up a cheaper pastime. There are many other affordable ways to wind down after work, such as reading, knitting, playing video games, exercising, gardening, learning a new language, or painting.
Invite Friends Over to Your Home Instead
Sometimes friends and family meet up at restaurants because they don’t know where else to go to socialize. When I lived in the suburbs of Boston in a small apartment, I remember being sort of embarrassed to host friends at my place. My one-bedroom abode was small, dark, and cramped—not exactly the ideal conditions for hosting a dinner party!
When work and life in general gets busy, cleaning also tends to fall by the wayside. It can be difficult to get our homes clean enough to feel comfortable inviting company over. However, there are better solutions to this problem than going to a loud, overcrowded restaurant where you can barely hear your dining partners.
One possible answer is to take some of the money you used to spend on eating out and hire a housecleaner. If your home is tidy, you’ll feel more comfortable having friends over for board game nights and potluck dinners, so you’ll probably save money in the end. Plus, you’ll have a clean space to enjoy even when no one else is around, which will likely boost your mental health much more than dining out frequently.
Find Affordable Third Places
A “third place” is somewhere we go to socialize that’s not school, home, or work. Third places like malls and churches have been on the decline, which may be one of the reasons eating out has become so commonplace. If there aren’t enough free, public gathering spaces in a community, people often turn to private venues like restaurants and bars that come with an admission fee.
The final way to break the cycle of eating out is to find another “third place” where you can comfortably socialize with friends and acquaintances. In the summer, parks can be a great place to hang out. You can bring a packed lunch or grab a coffee and a muffin from a local coffee shop and stroll around for much less than the cost of dinner out.
Coffee shops themselves can also be nice gathering places when the weather isn’t nice enough to be outside. Just remember to go during off-peak hours so you don’t have to shout at your friends to be heard!
Don’t be afraid to think outside the box when looking for affordable third spaces. Board game stores often host community game nights, some of which are free. Movie theaters sometimes offer discounts and promotions on certain nights, which can make tickets pretty affordable.
Some libraries host community events geared toward adults like trivia nights. Boston had lots of free outdoor fairs and festivals when I lived there that were nice to walk around. If you can resist the temptation to shop, farmer’s markets and malls are also good options.
Do You Think Eating Out Has Become the Norm?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Do you feel like eating out has become normalized in our society? If so, why do you think eating out is so popular nowadays and how can we break the habit? Let me know!
Read More
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