by Beks
My husband was working on our home renovation last Saturday and I was home with the kids. We’ve been working day and night on the renovation but I decided to stay at the rental house with the kids so they could get a good nap. We’ve been running power tools seemingly non-stop, and the kids really need some quiet rest.
My daughter had been asking all week if I would play with her making Play-Doh ‘tacos’. My husband had also been asking all week I could take some time to find some paint or wallpaper for the dining room and I just hadn’t had time to do either. I was at my computer looking at the swatches when my daughter asked if we could sit down to make tacos. I told her I needed 30 minutes at the computer and then I would happily play with her. While she was waiting, I asked if she and my youngest son could clean their room (they are sharing). When we clean, we blast music. She was blasting Encanto, and I had asked if she could close the door so I could concentrate (and there is only so much ‘Bruno’ I can take). They were going in and out of the room, and I kept asking them to keep the door closed.
I heard the door open, and my daughter came out to tell me the room was clean. My son, who knew I wanted the door kept closed, kicked the door shut. The solid core door. The door my daughter’s hand was in…hinge side. I get chills thinking about her scream. I RAN to the door to open it and looked at her hand and almost threw-up. I won’t describe it just know; it was bad. Again, I am not the person you want in an emergency.
I scooped her up and immediately put a cold wet towel on her hand. My husband was only five minutes away, so I had my son call him. He came home to take her to the ER while I stayed home with the other three kids. We have a wonderful children’s ER 5 minutes away and they were amazing. They were able to put her hand back together, but they said we won’t know if the nails will grow back for 6-8 months. They told me not to get my hopes up.
We have a high deductible health plan with an HSA account. We’re fortunate to have a decent amount in the account since I made a couple accidental overpayments in it when I switched to the new job. They had to do x-rays, stitches, and a bunch of other magic so the bill will likely be a big one, but we have enough to cover the max out of pocket so financially we’ll be OK. Yet another reason to make sure you can cover the max out of pocket if you choose the high deductible plan. Life is unpredictable.
Emotionally? I’m far from OK. The mom guilt is hitting me hard core. If I would have just sat down to make Play-Doh tacos when she asked, this wouldn’t have happened. If I hadn’t have asked them to keep their door closed, this wouldn’t have happened. My husband keeps telling my I’m being ridiculous, but I can’t shake it. As soon as he left for the ER, I completely fell apart. When the doctor said she might never have nails again on that hand, I started crying all over again. I love painting her nails. It’s her favorite thing. Geez. I’m crying just writing about it.
Money? Gonna be fine. My heart? Filled with so much guilt.
Beks is a full-time government employee who enjoys blogging late into the night after her four kids have gone to sleep. She’s been married to Chris, her college sweetheart, for 15 years. In 2017, after 3 long years working the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps, they paid off more than $70K and became debt free. When she’s not working or blogging, she’s exploring the great outdoors.