The way that I’ve been dealing with money for most of my adult life has stopped working. It’s not that I don’t know what I’m doing. My financial literacy is relatively high. I can answer questions about personal and business finances. However, my actual relationship with money has shifted. It’s changed. It’s becoming something that I never expected. I’m not someone, for example, who is focused on “manifesting” things. I don’t know if I believe in magic. And yet, right now, things are shifting. My financial mindset is shifting. And so, I am drawn to Money Magic. In fact, there’s a book called precisely that – Money Magic – that I’ve just finished reading. I’ll tell you more about the book shortly.
Changing Relationship with Money
In brief, my relationship with money has been shifting. For me, it’s important to see this as a relationship. Yes, money is a tool to master and utilize. However, it’s also a relationship. Like all relationships, it changes over times. How I earn it, how I spend it, what it means to me has all shifted over time. Like all deep relationships, it has the potential to impact and be impacted by the other relationships in my life. So, it’s been changing, and I’ve been thinking about this change.
Money Mindset: A Mental Turning Point
This change had been bubbling up within me for a while when I took a class on arts finance empowerment. It was really a class intended for people who do non-profit arts grant work, which isn’t quite what I do. Nevertheless, I was drawn to take the class. And the class ended up teaching me things. Of all of the practical and emotional things that I learned during the three week course, there was one thing that really stood out to me: a redefinition of income and expenses.
We all know what income and expenses are. When I review my money every month, I divide the review into income and expenses. When I do my taxes each year, I look directly at the relevant relationship between income and expenses. And yet, there’s not just one way of looking at things.
Redefining Income and Expenses
The leader of this course that I took described income and expenses this way:
- Income is an expression of how we manifest what we want.
- Expenses are an expression of what we value and prioritize
This was a simple thought in an hours-long class, but it stopped me in my track. Income and expenses aren’t just numbers – they’re stories. The flow of the money in one direction or another isn’t bad or good. It’s neutral. More importantly, it’s simply a story. If I am willing to look carefully at the story, then I can experience an entirely new relationship with money.
For example, expenses no longer lead to feelings like, “I am spending too much” or “I am wasting money.” Instead, I can gently look at where my money is going. This reflects my values and priorities. If it doesn’t, then I might need to make some changes.
Changing My Dog Spending Story
For example, I realized shockingly that I spent $18000 on my dogs last year. That’s obscene and absurd and I did not have it to spend. However, instead of continuing to chide myself for this, I could review the story. I do value and prioritize my dogs, because they are living creatures under my care, because they give me more joy and comfort than most other things in my life.
Also, 2022 was a really hard year for me. In terms of health and life and grief and loss and wellness and all of it … it was a hard year. So, I needed help with the dogs. I needed to pay someone to walk them for me. I needed someone to watch them for weeks at a time while I went to be with my family. When I was home with them, I bought them toys and treats because I needed help distracting them. This doesn’t mean I was lazy or wasteful or any of it … it means that I valued their wellbeing as well as my own need to take that time and space.
Does it mean I want to continue to spend like that on my dogs? The answer doesn’t really matter. The point is that I understand the story now, which allows me to choose better how it goes on the pages ahead.
Money Magic: The Book
As I’ve been exploring my changing relationship with money, I’ve opened up to new ways of looking at finances. I’ve spent a long time trying to master the nuts and bolts. I know the “how to.” However, I’m looking now at the deeper stories. In this search, I came across the book “Money Magic: Practical Wisdom and Empowering Rituals to HEAL YOUR FINANCES.”
I don’t practice manifestation or magic or even do much with rituals. And yet, this book spoke to me. And yet, it was time to read it. So, I did. Eagerly. And while there are aspects that don’t do anything for me at all, there’s a lot I’ve taken away from reading it.
The book offers a seven step process for digging deep into what is financially true for you. It’s about deeply understanding your relationship with money so that you can manifest different things. When we address our greatest needs, wants, intentions, and values at the core levels, we do so much more for ourselves than when we just balance the checkbook.
The Three Angles of Healing
There’s a lot to learn from this book and this approach to finances. What I’ll share today though is the foundational concept that there are three angles of healing:
- Practical/Logistical: Doing the financial things. This is the numbers.
- Spiritual/Emotional: This is self-awareness about your specific relationship with money and all of its triggers.
- Magical/Energetic: This is about owning your own energy as well as the energy of everything around us in order to manifest what we want.
It’s important to attend to all three of these. Otherwise, one leg is shorter than the other and the table wobbles. I have spent a lot of time on part one, and a decent amount of time on part two. I am ready to emerge into growing my part three awareness.